Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Never Quiet Long in Soperton

It was a quiet week on the Soperton Main Street, and the gang down at the local Crow Mart had caught and eaten more fish than the law allows. In such quiet moments of reflection and contemplation, thoughts turn to the mysteries of life.
Knowing and caring about the Crow Mart desperation, a loyal friend stopped just before reaching the threshold and put down what he had been carrying.
"What cha got there?" everybody asked. "Looks like a little trash can."
"It is," the gentleman answered.
Another member of the usual crowd came in and asked "What's the big book out there; looked like an old 'Life' magazine.
"It is," the gentleman answered. "It's the 50th anniversary book, and it's a heavy sucker."
"Last night" the gentleman continued, "I was sitting quietly in my living room and heard something rustling in the opposite corner.  I stood up and snuck over to see, and just as soon I was two foot away the biggest boar mouse I've ever seen jumped straight out of the waste basket and run and hid."
"'That's that,'  I said to myself and settled down. You wouldn't believe that stupid thing did the same thing again!  I got ready for him,  eased over and picked up that heavy book, then crawled slow and easy,  then WHAM popped the lid down on him. What a noise!  That sucker, um-umph, I thought he was gonna tear out of there. To just make sure, I topped off the cover with the 70th anniversary of 'Life'.

"Five minutes later the scoundrel was scratching for all he was worth. I closed the living room door and went to bed."
"So you've still got him in the can?"
"I reckon so. Live or dead. No holes in the can or the book."
By then everybody was wondering about the mouse. No sound was coming out. 
"Fellows, we've been kidding each other about it, but today we may be attending the next funeral."
The fearless Byrd Man, known for his prowess in fish,  fowl,  and beast did the honors. "I'll turn him loose, if he's really there!"
Together the tribe walked down to the alley, stopping long enough to bring Officer Anderson with him.
The book was removed.

"I don't see anything," said the Byrd Man.  He slipped out a sales paper and a 2009 calendar from Soperton Pharmacy and looked closer. "I see him!"
Like a bolt from the blue, the dead came alive! Arced high into the air, was still airborne when the E-NEWS photographer shot his one and only picture. He glanced off Wesley's wall and the last anybody saw of him, he was heading toward the majestic Treutlen County Courthouse.

That's it, folks. Another picture story from 'Life.'
Approved by Marlee

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